Breakups

The Fear of Running Into the Ex

Some of the comments that came through today have inspired me to address our fear of running into our BPD-ex’s. Why are we so afraid of running into them again? What is it about them that causes our hearts to race at the mere thought of casually running into them? Perhaps it’s because we know …

Two Years After My BPD Breakup

Here I am, two years after breaking up with my Borderline disordered ex-girlfriend. I never imagined that I would make it; that sounds so crazy now. For the first six months, I was an absolute wreck. There was nothing I could do to get away from it. The breakup was like a barbed-wire thread that …

Feeling Better or Feeling Familiar

I miss the comfort in being sad. – Kurt Cobain, Nirvana The lyric quoted above is from the Nirvana song, “Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle” from their In Utero album.  I happened to hear the song on the radio today (I’ve heard it many times before) and the lyric struck me like …

Dreams of the BPD Ex-Girlfriend

ex girlfriend dreams

I have read that many people have experienced persistent dreams of their ex-BPD partners. I have never experienced any memorable dreams or nightmares of my Borderline ex-girlfriend, not even in the initial emotionally-charged months post-breakup. It has been 18-months since the breakup now, and I just had my first dream about her the other night. …

Identifying Our Faulty Logic Through Self-Analysis

analize your relationship

Self-analysis is absolutely required after breaking up with a Borderline Personality Disordered individual. We need to recognize why we were so drawn to them in the first place and what kept us around through all the abuse. How did we maintain such a strong emotional connection for a person who continually showed us they were …

Healing and Acceptance

healing and acceptance

How do I get over this breakup?  I asked myself this question so many times for such a long time.  A year-and-a-half later, sometimes I still ask this question. I tried everything, for months on-end, but found no magic formula to extinguish the burning hurt and confusion that this breakup left me with.  I remember, …

BPD Breakup – My Lowest Point

I was sitting on the steps in my house this afternoon and in a flash, I remembered one of the lowest points I reached after breaking up with the girl who I believed was THE ONE for me. It was about two months after breaking up with my Borderline disordered ex-girlfriend that I hit my lowest point.

Self Hoovering Post Relationship

A hoover is when your Borderline ex makes an attempt to draw you back into the cycle (relationship) with them. Remember, you were once a source for them, and in difficulty, they may come back to you looking for more (sometimes a very long time after the relationship has ended). A self-hoover is when you break no contact or nc, and contact or check-up on your Borderline Disordered ex. That’s what I did.