A hoover is when your Borderline ex makes an attempt to draw you back into the cycle (relationship) with them. Remember, you were once a source for them, and in difficulty, they may come back to you looking for more (sometimes a very long time after the relationship has ended). A self-hoover is when you break no contact or nc, and contact or check-up on your Borderline Disordered ex. That’s what I did.
This was a completely random coincidence it seems. I had just dropped my child off at a sleepover party (this was in a town at least 30 minutes away from both my home and my ex’s). I was heading back home and pulled into the left-hand turn lane at a major intersection and there, two cars up next to me in the other turn lane was her car.
It’s not easy to cut someone off. It’s not easy to completely disappear on someone forever. It’s horribly difficult to silently walk away from someone you love and care for. However, if you have any desire to move on after a breakup with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you must go no contact.