This is a reader’s letter detailing his relationship experience with a woman suspected of having Borderline Personality Disorder.
The post-breakup pain, confusion, and depression was unlike anything I had ever experienced prior. I had a previous romantic relationship that lasted 15-years that fell apart and the heartbreak was not near what I endured after the BPD ex and I broke up. Why is that?
Why did you get involved with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder? Why did you try so hard to have a relationship with someone disordered? If we really want to make any progress in our healing, we must ask ourselves this question. We will never get the answers we seek from our Borderline ex’s; we can only seek these answers from within ourselves.
After our first meeting, I emailed her telling her I enjoyed meeting her and it was refreshing, nothing more. Did I want to see her again? I did, without a doubt, but I didn’t want to seem too eager. She responded that same day saying she too enjoyed our meeting. She also passed along her phone number and an invitation to meet again for coffee or dinner.
It’s not easy to cut someone off. It’s not easy to completely disappear on someone forever. It’s horribly difficult to silently walk away from someone you love and care for. However, if you have any desire to move on after a breakup with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you must go no contact.
I met my exBPD girlfriend at the tail-end of my divorce. It was a vulnerable time for me. It is important that I make the vulnerability point very clear. Generally, a secure, strong-minded individual will not fall prey to the Borderline hunter. Make no mistake either, you are their prey.
Getting over any breakup can be a challenge. Getting over a breakup from a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be nothing less than pure hell.
Mirroring, as it relates to Borderline Personality Disorder, is one of the ways a borderline pulls you in. The act of mirroring can be subtle. It is also difficult to classify as a red-flag in the beginning of any relationship, since some mirroring can be a perfectly natural behavior.
This is my first post in what will be a series dedicated to the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD). As the title of this post states, my ex-girlfriend has BPD. If you are not familiar with the disorder, I earnestly suggest you read the DSM-IV description and diagnosis criteria.