I have read that many people have experienced persistent dreams of their ex-BPD partners. I have never experienced any memorable dreams or nightmares of my Borderline ex-girlfriend, not even in the initial emotionally-charged months post-breakup. It has been 18-months since the breakup now, and I just had my first dream about her the other night.
I have no recollection of what the dream was about now – I know I remembered it that in a brief haze that morning. That hazy memory has completely faded away now. All that remained was an odd sense of familiarity and longing. I’m not even certain that these feelings pertain to her at all.
I consider it a blessing that I did not have any memorable dreams about her when I was in the grips of post-breakup misery. It would have been more than I could have handled at that point in time. Now, since I am much stronger, and of clearer mind, I suppose it makes sense that my mind rids itself of any residual unresolved emotions and feelings linked to my ex. That is how I see it… I believe the dreams are simply a process our minds perform to clean out unnecessary emotional residue.
In our waking hours, our brains are amazing processors of information. They do everything they can to make sense of the seemingly random and insignificant bits of information they encounter daily. Our minds sort through vast amounts of data in attempts to bring order. If we have a question that we are deeply curious about, our minds will spin tirelessly, presenting us with a multitude of potential answers. Dreaming is this same analyzing process, but it applies to our emotions rather than the analysis of information. Dreams of our Borderline disordered exes are our minds’ attempts to answer the emotional questions that remain unanswered in our hearts.
I imagine that dreams of my ex girlfriend will come up from time-to-time throughout the remainder of my life. In my heart I loved her, even if my mind know better than that now.