Borderline Personality Disorder – My Ex-Girlfriend Has BPD – Part 3


After our first meeting, I emailed her telling her I enjoyed meeting her and it was refreshing, nothing more. Did I want to see her again? I did, without a doubt, but I didn’t want to seem too eager. She responded that same day saying she too enjoyed our meeting. She also passed along her phone number and an invitation to meet again for coffee or dinner.

I called her and we met for coffee. This whole time, I was thinking how lucky I was to have such a beautiful, intelligent, light-hearted woman who seemed to see me for who I was (and was still interested). I was pursuing, but she was too, maybe even more than I.

Our coffee date went well. She looked great – I was very attracted to her no doubt. We had great conversation, but much of it did seem to center around her ex-husband. She described how terrible he was to her and her children. The waif had started her work. I was already feeling very sympathetic towards her and the tough situation she was in with her ex. The waif will use your empathy and concern against to pull you in.

I walked her to her car and gave her a hug. We agreed to meet again for dinner in the next week. I remember driving home feeling higher than a kite. How could I be so lucky? She was everything I ever wanted in a woman… She seemed to good to be true. In hindsight, she was.

The Borderline Personality Disordered person, especially the waif, can be very perceptive with others. They have an uncanny ability to read other people. I do not believe it is a fully-conscious undertaking on their part, but they are masters and telling you what you want to hear and showing you what you want to see initially.

Like a fly, I was already trapped in the waif’s web. The Borderline Waif had found her next mark and I was that mark. In time, I would come to find that there was really nothing special about me for her; I simply served a purpose for the waif for a time, until I was ultimately discarded.

Comments 4

  • They play emotional chess, watch out because they’ll checkmate your character.

  • When you say an uncanny ability to read people, it makes me think. On our 1st date my ex said “I can’t read you at all.”
    And in my innocence I asked – “Why would you want to read me?”
    Now I know – thanks.
    She took an immediate dislike to one of my boys who felt the same about her – saying (and I quote) “don’t you see the red flags?”
    I have apologized to him many times since. I thought he had picked up some cliche from a t.v. show – the kid is psychic.
    And so – perhaps – is she.

    • They are psychic vampires, without a doubt. I never even met mine – just a Facebook connection, but not only could she read me like a book, but I could *feel* her presence in my house, even though she lives thousands of miles away.

  • Sounds familiar. I remember the first time I met her in person. I wasn’t attracted to her but thought that she was a bit
    vulnerable. She seemed to not be of this world. Her eyes were sad or almost non existent.

    We talked on the phone for over a year before I saw her and all that time, I was being groomed to be the next Mr Doom.

    It was also about her ex all the time. Sometimes I would be amazed at just how much time she spent on talking about her ex. It wasn’t very nice either. She told me that she never loved him and just wanted his money for her kids. I found her attitude very unusual as I had told her that I was on good, but distant terms with all of my ex’s and that break ups were generally amicable despite the hurt. She asked lots of questions as if she were sizing me up. Looking for a guarantee that I would make a good partner.

    For the first few months, she would be quite passive and for the duration of the association, she was very cold and quiet. It was not her style to be loud and aggressive and she used this well to get under my skin. I often said to her that I thought she needed to voice her feelings or talk about stuff and she said that was not her. As we became more entrenched in each others lives, her crippling break ups surfaced and strange reasons which were generally all my fault. She knew that I had some issues and spoke about them with her “churchy” friends who all advised her that it was my fault and that she should leave or at least, that’s the story she told me.

    It has been a year since we had contact and I am very aware of just how much damage these personalities can do. I have a long and very detailed account of what happened and how it made me feel which I am dealing with day to day and also have empathy for anybody who has been through similar. It’s actually hard to believe that people can be so
    cold but once you know BPD and have some idea of how it happens, the picture is broader.

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